You Wish You Were Here
May 17 2008 / by Jason / In association with Future Blogger.net
Category: Technology Year: Beyond Rating: 15 Hot
By Jason M. Vaughn
Here in glorious 2059, things are a bit different than they were
back in, say, 2008. How so? Well, for one thing, a Starbucks coffee
might have run you three dollars, back then, but now you can be
sitting at home and just think of a Starbucks coffee, and
your nanounit will “build” it for you and then automatically charge
thirty dollars to your account! 
Back in the neo “Dark Ages” of old 2008, you could only dream of having sex with androids, or watch actors pretending to have sex with androids in movies; heck, even just five years ago, sex with androids was still mostly frowned upon, and more painful, really, than pleasurable. But now, in 2059, everybody’s having sex with androids (even other androids!), and at worst it only causes a mild pinching…and degrades the android.
In case you’re wondering, we don’t use the word cool anymore (“cool” is so 2055). We use awesome now in most situations where cool would’ve been applied, except when we’re talking about the temperature: then we say “chilly” or “cold” or, in certain eco-important situations, “under-warm.” Some outsiders have recently started using awesome to describe chilly weather (“It’s awesome out,” they’ll say, or “Man, I wish it was just a little less awesome today,” or “Yesterday, it was so awesome I had to wear a jacket!”), but these people are hardly ever taken seriously, and, in some cases, they’ve even been banned from having their own talk shows.
Yep, 2059 is pretty fascinating, if you ask me. Oprah is still alive, and editing her magazine from the confines of a gelatin cocoon she shares with Dr. Oz and gal-pal, Gayle King. Madonna, and The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, have just collaborated on a new album entitled Still Mostly Human (Madonna’s pseudo-butt looks great!). (cont.)
