from The Kansas City Star’s Running Cerebro-Transmission, March 7, 2115:
May 19 2008 / by Jason / In association with Future Blogger.net
Category: Information Year: Beyond Rating: 6 Hot
By Jason M. Vaughn
The world was rocked this morning by the death of America’s
first “immortal,” Madeline Marie Samms, who had only three months
ago reached her 175th birthday. At around 6:45 a.m., a piano was
accidentally dropped on her head as she stepped out of her
first-floor Wyandotte County apartment on her way to the market.
The irony is that she had once credited this daily walk as the
biggest reason for 
her longevity. It was even more important, she had felt, than
her nightly pink-lemonade-flavored telomerase cocktail, her weekly
stem-cell injections, and her numerous casual-sex encounters.
“People can’t go a measly few blocks to get their organics?” she’d once wondered, incredulously shaking her head. “They gotta have ‘em delivered by one of those good-for-nothin’ robots? What’s this world comin’ to? That’s what I wanna know. ‘Cause them robots are kinda scary, if you ask me. I mean, why do their eyes have to be red like that? Why does one of their hands always have to be a claw hand? Why on earth do they gotta have a laser saw hangin’ off their shoulder at all times? For God sakes,” she continued, “what do they need teeth for? And just why do those teeth have to be all pointy, like shark teeth? You know, one of them things tried to help me across the street one time. I had to beat him off with my purse. Thought I was bein’ attacked.” (cont.)
